start again

I seem to start but finishing is tough

arms tossed, had enough

struggle against self

book off the shelf

start again

start from within

cast out the sin

new path to follow and I begin

see the horizon, it's not a mirage

see it glisten like modge podge

lit the candle against the blowing wind

pick up the pieces and I start again

-each day is a new day of renewal

driven

- I thought about typing this one in the computer but the scan allows this poem to be read a couple different ways I liked

freedom

Shimmering are the forest leaves

cool is the autumn breeze

Warm beans the sun's light

fleeting is the dark night

liberation in the morning

freedom throughout the day

soul no longer mourning

chains on the ground lay

unburdened, unbound

facing forward not looking back

rejoice in the sound

walking forward, my feet on solid ground.

Fade

The day is rising and is set before me
How did it come to this?
Lose myself in everyday things
I've lost myself, nothing brings
me back to myself
So I fade, fade away
disappear into everyday
So I fade, fade away lose myself along the way
the day is setting and gone away from me
How did it escape me
quickly time seems to go
Who I am? I just don't know.
I've lost myself, nothing brings
me back to my self
so I fade...

Death's rattle - in the Tibetian philosophy of thinking about dying -

i am not listening to what you have to say
i am, from you, just walking away
you wish you might, you wish you may
beg and plead wishing for me to stay

deaf my ears to your words
retort from you, saying i'm absurd
ask to you, 'do you hear the bird?'
not listening, not a word I heard

when this is done, it will turn to a blurr
best left forgotten, do you concur?
hear death's rattle in the odor of mirth
we are just a shadow of what we once were

you say that this is too random
best I leave my comments unsaid... in memorandum

-just thought of endings of things in one's life, and then some echoes of Fight Club are in there.

Snow

You have returned again

my not-so-forgotten friend

Shame me lest I, if I cannot remember

last time your came it was late November

I look out the window and what do I see

Your soft, billowy-white blanket awaiting for me

The joy I find in my rewind

to my childhood past. What a blast!

Cast your spell you do so well

I mold, I make, n'er forsake

in our sweet communion doth I partake

Let our spirits blend once again

my not-so-forgotten friend

all i can think of is you

The seasons have changed with a chill in the air

My spirits are lifted with the sun shining thru

Comfy in my chair looking thru the window out there

warm rays beaming, my spirit no longer blue

with all the noise around me

All I can think of is you

text messages from my love

-following is a text sent to me by my wife, Kari

When i'm with u, the sun shines brighter
    and the stars spell out our names.
When we're together, the night seems longer
    and the fire has more flames.

-following is another on Fri, Aug 21 12:32 pm

roses r red
violes r blue
I am so happy
when i'm with u

Series #2 - year 1992 to 93

Always

Always
      When you cross the street
      Look both ways to the sides
Always
     Be polite and courteous
     respect is to be always earned
Always
     don't listen to rumors
     the truth will be revealed in time
Always
     be friends to a needy person
     who knows where the path goes
Always
     enjoy yourself in life's opportunities
     happiness is the optimist of life
Always
    remember the friends you've made
    then joy will be there
Always

-repetition in the one word, the rest doesn't seem like a poem. Done in May senior year

to find

Words written on a piece of paper
Friendship turned sour to ripe again
Pollen floating in the air by bees
A poppy shining covered by the evening shadow
Ball struck by fists in barefeet sand
Beauty glows and confusion enters
choices of a companion
walking along a dotted line
walking the boundaries like a lion
a love having lost but still looking to find

-written after a graduation party at Arneson's point

maybe I

Colors of orange and red blend with gray
The sky of blue turns to black while rises the moon
one breath of air, candles in a row
wishing away on dreams and happy days
believing that things do come true
dreamers of these are mindless fools
A blackness reality of life is what I see
for my dreams drown into the sea
what is supposed to be
never happens to me
and if you could see my dreams
there would be emptiness with a void of gray
so wish what you may
maybe I will be able to dream someday

eternity

it won't last very long
but you say i'm just a fool
Please come back to where you belong
back to the place you called home
There's time to always change
you don't have to play life's game
please listen to me
'cause I want you to be free
some one still cares
about this beauty so fair
someone who knows how you feel
who gives love so real
won't you come live with me
throughout eternity

-one of my struggles back then - spiritual and world

Flutter, Shadow, Shimmer, stretch & Balance

The birds flutter in the sky
the memory of the 4th of July
do you remember you walked by?
the shadow of my feelings shimmer
the light makes them hide before they are shown
my courage stretches to tell you
but returns after you give me a glare
the balance between love and hate
Tell me what I did to deserve that fate
tomorrow seems like forever
and yesterday was too late
As we go our separate ways
remember what was revealed today

-read May 11th for English class is the note on the paper I wrote is poem on.

Series of Poems from High School - 1992 to 1993

The daisy flower

There grows the daisy flower
When i see it
I think of you
White, daisy flower
you saw my heart
I think I see the daisy flower

-in business law class of my senior year, I received permission so I drew some poster pictures.
One was of a climber going to get a daisy flower on the cliff.

A fool to believe

My heart beated your name and it will never ever be the same
Deep, dark feelings inside of my soul were poured to you
Forever and a day, my heart will always stay, away from you
Now I will lock them up inside of me, this is my everlasting decree
But please just tell me why oh why did you crush my heart that way
                                                                     I was a fool to believe in you.
My pure, innocent, perfect love was like a snow-white, turtle dove
Into my broken soul was deeply ingrained, your deadly stain
Crying all night, from white to black, my soul was not turning back
Twisting, turning inside were those deep, dark feelings coming out
The mark of your undying stain is this deadly powerful pain
                                                                     I was a fool to believe in you.

-I think I was trying to do have in-verse rhyming

I don't know about tomorrow

I don't know about tomorrow
     I just live day to day
I don't know about tomorrow
    Will the sun shine its' rays?
I don't know about tomorrow
    Will you still be mine?
I don't know about tomorrow
    Is someone going to help mankind?
I don't know about tomorrow
    for I am its' memory

I tried

I tried to console him
    He would not listen
I tried to reason with him
    he would not hear
I tried to convince him
   He just turned away
Now I look down
   at my best friend
Lying there breathless
   did I really try?

-a poor effort. does repetition make poetry?

Under the midnight moon

Come unto these yellow sands
   and then take hands.
The wild waves whist
   under the midnight moon
       you have kissed
Sparkling stars in the sky
   lovers walks by
      I sit alone in my house
         it is as quiet as a mouse.
      I think back
         upon the past
Romances...
Chances...
        If I would have known
           that I would be alone
I, also, would have tried
    under the midnight moon

-This was done in last months of high school. 

This series of poems along the ones to come will be interesting insight to how I thought back then.
I wonder what I would say to myself if I was able to, back then.