Christmas poem

Baby, It's Christmas, Christmas is here

When it's cold outside, you hold me near

Kisses and Eskimo nose to nose,

You stoke my fire with an Intense glow

You whisper sweet nothings to me

You are always where I want to be

You loose my chains and set me free.

You are my calm and stormy sea

You make me feel good when I'm forlorn

When you smile at me, I forget my scorn

When I'm stressed out and tightly wound,

You loose me up and make my world-go-round

Many times through the many days

you will always be my craze.

-christmas poem for my wife - it was on her list -

parellel paths colliding

lifeless, listless, restless, yes
hopeful, never dull, doubtful, null
watching, waiting, breaking the anticipating, negating
flow to time, canonic rhyme, snap the sublime, affirm the mind
regret, never bet, empty dinner set, not-so-whet
parellel, here i dwell, creature fell,
sustain or maintain, not to progress, yes is yes
never rest, ever blest, ocean crest,
   restless ... no or yes, decision laid to rest

when things go all wrong

when things go all wrong,
when things feel like a sad song,
in the coldest winter, you are my warming ray
you are my sunshine on a cloudy day

when there are no words to be spoken,
when there seems only darkness unbroken,
you shine clearing the clouds on me
you are love speaking all around me

When I falter, you pick me up
when it is half emply, you fill my cup
you make me laugh when I feel down
you give me butterflies all year round

next to you, with you, I belong
you're my sonnet. you're my song

cannot

cannot come up with a rhyme
cannot write a lovely poem
no words writ 'bout my love whose home
no words to last to the end of time
no words about love
can't rhyme about my heavenly
brainstorming is put to a fizzle
thought block preventing all poetic drizzle
cannot write, nothing writ
dry, humorless, wit

complentary love

One’s love is never the same as another
Even with the one you share a cover.
One may think of the one they love each and every day
One may express it more which each breathe one takes
One may show love more in actions than what one may say
One may love steady as sure as each day breaks

I may love you differently than you to me
But be assured, my love for you never fades, does not falter
My love for you grows each day but does not alter
For my love for you will only be broken in death
Even if I do not speak it in every breath.
There is only one I profess my love to…you alone, you only
Even though we love each other differently,
Hopefully, we complement each other’s love to eternity
-think of my wife, my one and only love

quickly fade

- form is in the pen strokes, words underneath so one may read(find) the words

daydreaming of my love

Another day has started to bloom
and I am wandering in my mind's room
Plenty of space for thoughts to drift in
Thoughts of my love start to begin
Noticing the change in how she loves
my heart cooing like a flock of doves
Feeling uplifted and confident from her
Reciprocating back I will not deter
I love because I want to
Feel loved because she wants to
You...you...you..
all thoughts drift to you

-think about my love for my wife

Dawn of a new day

  my bloodshot eyes

  my thousand tries

my sin-stained soul

 my want to know

my desperate cry

   my why, why, why, ...why

  my letting go

   my getting whole

   His comforting word

   His whispering heard

 His wounded side

   His arms spread wide

 His crown of thorns

  His being scorned

His desperate cry

   His why, why, why, ...why

   My words at a loss

   His counted the cost

- first attempt at emailing to the blog

start again

I seem to start but finishing is tough

arms tossed, had enough

struggle against self

book off the shelf

start again

start from within

cast out the sin

new path to follow and I begin

see the horizon, it's not a mirage

see it glisten like modge podge

lit the candle against the blowing wind

pick up the pieces and I start again

-each day is a new day of renewal

driven

- I thought about typing this one in the computer but the scan allows this poem to be read a couple different ways I liked

freedom

Shimmering are the forest leaves

cool is the autumn breeze

Warm beans the sun's light

fleeting is the dark night

liberation in the morning

freedom throughout the day

soul no longer mourning

chains on the ground lay

unburdened, unbound

facing forward not looking back

rejoice in the sound

walking forward, my feet on solid ground.

Fade

The day is rising and is set before me
How did it come to this?
Lose myself in everyday things
I've lost myself, nothing brings
me back to myself
So I fade, fade away
disappear into everyday
So I fade, fade away lose myself along the way
the day is setting and gone away from me
How did it escape me
quickly time seems to go
Who I am? I just don't know.
I've lost myself, nothing brings
me back to my self
so I fade...

Death's rattle - in the Tibetian philosophy of thinking about dying -

i am not listening to what you have to say
i am, from you, just walking away
you wish you might, you wish you may
beg and plead wishing for me to stay

deaf my ears to your words
retort from you, saying i'm absurd
ask to you, 'do you hear the bird?'
not listening, not a word I heard

when this is done, it will turn to a blurr
best left forgotten, do you concur?
hear death's rattle in the odor of mirth
we are just a shadow of what we once were

you say that this is too random
best I leave my comments unsaid... in memorandum

-just thought of endings of things in one's life, and then some echoes of Fight Club are in there.

Snow

You have returned again

my not-so-forgotten friend

Shame me lest I, if I cannot remember

last time your came it was late November

I look out the window and what do I see

Your soft, billowy-white blanket awaiting for me

The joy I find in my rewind

to my childhood past. What a blast!

Cast your spell you do so well

I mold, I make, n'er forsake

in our sweet communion doth I partake

Let our spirits blend once again

my not-so-forgotten friend

all i can think of is you

The seasons have changed with a chill in the air

My spirits are lifted with the sun shining thru

Comfy in my chair looking thru the window out there

warm rays beaming, my spirit no longer blue

with all the noise around me

All I can think of is you

text messages from my love

-following is a text sent to me by my wife, Kari

When i'm with u, the sun shines brighter
    and the stars spell out our names.
When we're together, the night seems longer
    and the fire has more flames.

-following is another on Fri, Aug 21 12:32 pm

roses r red
violes r blue
I am so happy
when i'm with u

Series #2 - year 1992 to 93

Always

Always
      When you cross the street
      Look both ways to the sides
Always
     Be polite and courteous
     respect is to be always earned
Always
     don't listen to rumors
     the truth will be revealed in time
Always
     be friends to a needy person
     who knows where the path goes
Always
     enjoy yourself in life's opportunities
     happiness is the optimist of life
Always
    remember the friends you've made
    then joy will be there
Always

-repetition in the one word, the rest doesn't seem like a poem. Done in May senior year

to find

Words written on a piece of paper
Friendship turned sour to ripe again
Pollen floating in the air by bees
A poppy shining covered by the evening shadow
Ball struck by fists in barefeet sand
Beauty glows and confusion enters
choices of a companion
walking along a dotted line
walking the boundaries like a lion
a love having lost but still looking to find

-written after a graduation party at Arneson's point

maybe I

Colors of orange and red blend with gray
The sky of blue turns to black while rises the moon
one breath of air, candles in a row
wishing away on dreams and happy days
believing that things do come true
dreamers of these are mindless fools
A blackness reality of life is what I see
for my dreams drown into the sea
what is supposed to be
never happens to me
and if you could see my dreams
there would be emptiness with a void of gray
so wish what you may
maybe I will be able to dream someday

eternity

it won't last very long
but you say i'm just a fool
Please come back to where you belong
back to the place you called home
There's time to always change
you don't have to play life's game
please listen to me
'cause I want you to be free
some one still cares
about this beauty so fair
someone who knows how you feel
who gives love so real
won't you come live with me
throughout eternity

-one of my struggles back then - spiritual and world

Flutter, Shadow, Shimmer, stretch & Balance

The birds flutter in the sky
the memory of the 4th of July
do you remember you walked by?
the shadow of my feelings shimmer
the light makes them hide before they are shown
my courage stretches to tell you
but returns after you give me a glare
the balance between love and hate
Tell me what I did to deserve that fate
tomorrow seems like forever
and yesterday was too late
As we go our separate ways
remember what was revealed today

-read May 11th for English class is the note on the paper I wrote is poem on.

Series of Poems from High School - 1992 to 1993

The daisy flower

There grows the daisy flower
When i see it
I think of you
White, daisy flower
you saw my heart
I think I see the daisy flower

-in business law class of my senior year, I received permission so I drew some poster pictures.
One was of a climber going to get a daisy flower on the cliff.

A fool to believe

My heart beated your name and it will never ever be the same
Deep, dark feelings inside of my soul were poured to you
Forever and a day, my heart will always stay, away from you
Now I will lock them up inside of me, this is my everlasting decree
But please just tell me why oh why did you crush my heart that way
                                                                     I was a fool to believe in you.
My pure, innocent, perfect love was like a snow-white, turtle dove
Into my broken soul was deeply ingrained, your deadly stain
Crying all night, from white to black, my soul was not turning back
Twisting, turning inside were those deep, dark feelings coming out
The mark of your undying stain is this deadly powerful pain
                                                                     I was a fool to believe in you.

-I think I was trying to do have in-verse rhyming

I don't know about tomorrow

I don't know about tomorrow
     I just live day to day
I don't know about tomorrow
    Will the sun shine its' rays?
I don't know about tomorrow
    Will you still be mine?
I don't know about tomorrow
    Is someone going to help mankind?
I don't know about tomorrow
    for I am its' memory

I tried

I tried to console him
    He would not listen
I tried to reason with him
    he would not hear
I tried to convince him
   He just turned away
Now I look down
   at my best friend
Lying there breathless
   did I really try?

-a poor effort. does repetition make poetry?

Under the midnight moon

Come unto these yellow sands
   and then take hands.
The wild waves whist
   under the midnight moon
       you have kissed
Sparkling stars in the sky
   lovers walks by
      I sit alone in my house
         it is as quiet as a mouse.
      I think back
         upon the past
Romances...
Chances...
        If I would have known
           that I would be alone
I, also, would have tried
    under the midnight moon

-This was done in last months of high school. 

This series of poems along the ones to come will be interesting insight to how I thought back then.
I wonder what I would say to myself if I was able to, back then.

whether i am...

This was done in the Japanese poetry style, tanka. college years 1994-1998

Whether I am...

this was in the style of Japanese Poetry style, tanka. college years 1994-1998

let me

Apt Roseville 1999.
a rough patch in my life

midnight memory

apt Roseville 1999

walking home after working late from movie theater. Sadly, this theater no longer exists at Har Mar.

silence broken

empty like Mother Hubbard's cubbards; sacred few are roaming w/ boredom
mystery surrounds the edifice, yet the silence remains.
fog rolls in the lot,
                         concealed are they
                                                but they'll break free.
Blood wears the wall,
                            words carved in stone;
                                                          yet the silence remains.
Basketball formed by paper,
                                   fountain flows the water,
                                                              nearer comes the tension.
As the pressure demands change,
                                      they change their sides of a hat
                                                                          as the silence is abruptly broken.



summer 1999. Apt Roseville.

just u and I

this was written in spring/summer 1999, I was living in an apt. alone but was hoping.

I had the previous year asked Kari, (now my wife), to marry me before our son was born.

Here it is in original form.

chill in the air

cold fingers and raised hairs
nerves on end, pursed are lips
silence golden, the muted quips
on the spirit, down it wears

the feet they cease
the eyes they stare
the wrinkles they crease
on the mind, down it wears

my soul I bare
what is the deal
can't help but feel
chill in the air

Ode to my confessor

Stare at me with an empty stare
The emptyness you know I cannot bear
My soul aches with the urging you give
With you alive! without want not to live!

Scream at me with your muted word
'I am your confessor," I swear I heard
Absurd,befuddled, as I ruffle my mane
In the room spoken up on this plain.

Ripple like the river named Temperance
Lap like the lake named Superior
Write down nothing inferior
Spear the soul with thy lance

This is my place, This is my home
'Pay in penitence to me', thy Poem.

naive

wrote after finishing "enemies are human", by Reinhold Pabel

my baby, she keeps me warm

my baby, she keeps me warm
when it's cold from winter's storm
My baby, she stokes my smoldering fire
softly soothing, my flaming desire.

Wrap me up with your arms
disarm me with your charm
Tend to my unspoken needs
mend my heart when it bleeds

My baby, my sweet love
the treasured one I think of

Feb 2009

reign over me

reign over me
i am in a state of need
reign over me
i am tired
reign over me
shake the chains that hold me back
reign over me
change my heart, change my mind
reign over me
reign in me
reign through me
take the reins and rain on me,
reign O God reign

done on the spot, spontaneous on the Blog itself

peace upon you

find your way thru...

reaching out to...

telling you, you are alone now

feel the air breathing new life in you

rejuvenate your soul in the...

quieting the mind and ...

goosebumps rise up and (peace upon you)...

silencing the world and its furious pace

finding yourself once again

strengthening inside

Only the penitent man will pass

Father forgive me for what I have done
Fallen again & crucified again your Son
Father forgive me once again
Fallen to the traps of sin

keep on stumblin' and going round & round
stuck in quicksand, needin' solid ground
Lost in this darkness all around
Please help me to be found

Forgive me, Lord, forgive me.

Didn't know life could be this cruel
The world she played me like a fool
I hear the ringing, ringing of the bells
Please Lord save me from the fire of Hell
The world she knew me, knew me well
I need to get off this Highway to Hell
lost in this darkness all around
Please help me to be found

Forgive me, Lord, forgive me

Playing this metal madness for the Lord
unify the body, be in one accord
Though I may stumble, though I may fall
Lord was callin, and I heeded the call
The disease of sin in me needed to be cured
The world she had me, that is for sure
When she comes gunnin', I'm a runnin',
I run to the word,
From the disease of sin, I am cured.

loss of a loved one

My memory is failing.
My memories are fading.
The images start to turn blurry and lose their focus.
I regret to inform you that this is your last notice.

The very last time I held your hand,
I felt your grip lost its hold.
Turned off the light on the nightstands,
Its' warm glow grows ever cold.

no more words
no more phrases
no reminders left

It was but a moment destined to die.
It is the past meant to be forgotten.
The wounds run deep, some scars never do heal.
The darkness closes in on all I feel.
Past's door closes yet stays slightly open.

now, here, alone with myself, it seems kind of strange.
then, there, you're sitting alone, memories don't change.

Remembering when I saw you last, when I walked out the door (I can remember).
The last time I saw your face, I could see the sadness in your eyes.
As I walked out the door, your silence said it all for me.
How could we have known it would come to that...the very last time?
How could we let the last words be,
Bitter and angry, frustrated more oft than not?
Will always be second-guessing the past.

One more time, just enough to remember your words.
One last memory, long enough to say these words.

I wait every passing hour.
What but your grace to come my way.
Past's painful sorrow still yet sour.
Swiftly ebbs out life's little day.
Decay and change in all around I see.
To end with this day, to end peacefully.

These are my last words, I will ever write.
These are my last thoughts, I will ever think.

Who am I? Who are you? These questions that I choose.
Time to say farewell...fare thee well...this is the end.

This was written to envision my own death, watching some else pass, and a co-worker losing an immediate family member. early 2009 or late 2008

anniversary 2009

As we are traveling down this road together
headed to our designed destination
Set to enjoy our anniversary vacation,
We know where we will end down to the letter.

We know where we've been, the places
Missteps made in the past.
Looking at our half-full glass,
hoping only the good memories will last

In this present moment, we whisk at our pace in
we take some risk, take some chance
taking a timeout for some romance
trying our best to slow life's race.

We have no crystal ball to peer into the future
we don't know what will come
But one thing is for sure
we will remain as one.



wrote on our anniversary to Grand Marais

The five

Five foolish, five wise
not enough oil was the fools' demise
prepared for the bridegroom, they were not
not knowing the hour or the time.
the wise five had their lamps burning hot
prepared they were at the sounding chime.
The hour was not known, the time was not set,
this is where the five and bridegroom met.

sitting in the sun

I'm sitting in the sun
The day has just begun
waiting for you to come
together we can have some fun

You are walking to where I'm at
You are wearing your favorite hat
I watch in anticipation.
"You look good" Exclamation.

Feels so right next to you
Let's stick together just like glue
I am yours, you are mine
Distractions set aside, let us enjoy this time

Hand and hand, we are together
when you're around me, I feel better.

sunnyside up

Rustling, the leaves are not

Clouds cover the sun from feeling hot

Hot is the coffee in my cup

2 strips bacon, 2 eggs sunnyside up

Kind conversation and a pleasant smile

Enjoying the moment if just a little while

One may think it would be a gloomy day

Turning it sunnyside up and I'm on my way

sitting in the sun

Sitting in the sun, soaking up the rays.
looking at the black-eyed susan parade.

Lush are the trees.
Soothing is the breeze.
The clouds fluffed in the sky.
The day is passing by.

Hope to make things better.
Hope that I get her...
in a good frame of mind
to spend some quality time

Morning Sun

Strong and bright
shines the morning light.

It's warm illumination
It's peacful invitation

comforted by its presence
encouraged by its prescience

Enjoying the joy of the day
as the Overcast fades away

Today... For I am one
to welcome the morning sun

.

reflections in morning, seeing the flying flag

Have we lost the sense of who we are
under red and white bars, the blue sky, and steadfast stars?
Have we forgotten what binds us together?
What is great about the land in which we live?
Who is our neighbor, for bad or for bettter?
Better not to receive but better to give.
.
The ideals are not lofty dreams
but are what bind us at the seams!
Justice for all & peace within the border of the nation.
Defend our sovereign state and promote no general indignation.
Let Liberty bless us to posterity.
May God guide both you and me.
.
Shake the shackles, break the chains.
Stand fast, stand firm
Histories lessons learned.
At the end of the day, may we remain.
.
Together we stand, Together we say.
God bless the U.S.A.

.

wicked woman

wicked woman won't you leave me alone
you're hauntin' my head and hauntin' my home
you don't need to come around no more
no need to haunt my door
i'm alright now
so you can leave me alone
wicked woman, wicked woman



8/13/09 1 p.m.

Note: This is in response to an ex messaging me through Facebook

any day

Rain streaks down the window pane

Patterns form in morse code

Looking outside from inside my abode

Doesn't loook like it's going to wane

.

.

comfy, cozy, snuggle away

Rain, you can come most any day

morning sun

Long shadows stretch out with their yawn
The bright sun has arrived with today's dawn
dew shimmers and glistens on the wild grains
Click-clop sounds on the paved plains
weary from yesterday's toil and fun
I am greeted by the morning's sun

Post Mordem: ch.17 used to be the weather radar

Partly cloudy, 75 degrees is the high
leaves swaying in the breeze the day is passing by
the seconds, the minutes, the hours
the insects, the trees, the flowers
what a sucky poem to write
it sucks mightily, what a plight!
in a black hole's vortex,
in a vacuum's tube,
undo this poetic hex
solve this rubic's cube.
puzzled, baffled, befuddled am I
alliterating words will I try
until then it's part-ly clou-dy
the temperature is 75 degrees
and the leaves sway in the breeze.

May 2009

routine in fifteen

This 355mL stryofoam cup of liquid black

warms my insides this dovish daybreak

No additives to this elixir I take

straight up, cut-me-n0-slack

marked caution:contents hot

like it for what it is and what it's not

it is my morning, weekday, repeatative routine

filtered into water, caffeinated ground up coffee bean

mmm,mmm yeah! you know what i mean

A hold-up, wait a minute, i'm a fiend

my sit back, kick back, re-lax, morning fifteen

end of the road

i'm at the end of road
no place to go
but i will travel on, to where i belong
future in front of me, no place would i rather be
leave this present life into the unknown
no place to lay my head, no place to call my home
wandering into the uncharted land, no set-forth plan
just to know that i can, i am set free

i've reached the end of road
my body cannot go
i'm a travelling soul
driftin' to where i belong
hummin to my own song
hmmm, hmmmm

the chains that bound me here
i leave behind w/o any fear
cast off what i hold dear
to the Creator i draw near
with each and every breath I breathe
the closer i draw to thee
no place i'd rather be, i'm letting go, letting go

the path lays out before
me like an open door
unhindered by the past
physical boundary surpassed
like a cloud drifting by
like a bird in the sky
i am free to fly, please don't cry
for me, because i am free, i am free

Restless

in an uncontented state
I toss and turn


what has jarred me
into this contemplate


Uneasy in the present
yet I am not moving

Tired of this endless battle

nauseated from ceaseless prattle


unwanting to stay the same
In motion I remain

Birthday Bash

once a year on a certain day
people come over to say
Happy Birthday!

congradulatory remarks and such
cake and ice cream out to munch

Friends, family, and sometime strangers too
Here on the occasion just for you
the candles are lit and people are poised
their vocal chords ready to make some noise

smiles and laughs,
hugs and kisses,
Blow out your candles for birthday wishes.

One year has past and one year more wise
Hope you enjoyed your Birthday surprise.

1 thing 2 say, 3 4 you I adore

1 thing 2 say, 3 4
you I adore

want you more and more
each and every day
most of the time, i don't know what to say

like 2 make things go smooth with no alarms
i try to keep you safe from harm
i find comfort in your arms

the sun is out today
thinking of you so i smile away
feel happy when you're around
make you laugh when I'm a clown
lift u up when u r down

doo doo doo
bumm bumm bumm
song in my head
humm humm humm
how you're the 1 4 me

1 thing
2 say
3 4 you i adore

Time

Well, it's 9:41
and I'm thinking of the one
that I love.

Now, it's 9:42
and I'm thinking about you
who I love.

Just turned 9:43
and I'm wanting just to be
with my love.

Time keeps on passing by
and I'm dreaming of (..sigh)
you my love.

Date: Monday, January 26, 2009, 10:57 AM

Wish that I could stay

Awakened from my slumber
I look up at the clock's number
My love, I wish that I could stay

Grab my clothes and slowly get dressed
I believe that I am truly blessed
My love, I wish that I could stay

Carry my things out to the car
My thoughts do not wander that far
My love, I wish that I could stay

Tick tock, watch the clock pass each hour
I walk dazed under the power
of my Love throughout the whole day

Date: Tuesday, January 27, 2009, 12:56 PM

When You're Away

When you're not here
And are far away
It's in my heart
That you will stay

I'd shed a tear
When you're away
But It would do
No good

Instead I'll hope
And I will pray
For your safe return
When You're away

Sent: Wed 1/28/2009 10:27 AM

all with you

I could write some words
and tell you many things

I could speak a thousand words
and tell you many things

But I would rather show you
then tell you many things

How I feel ...how much you mean

You're a radiant beam
You're an endless dream

You're my joyful tears
It will take many years
to express it right
You're a guiding light
You're a star-filled night

There are so many things
that each day will bring

I hope to spend them
all with you

Date: Monday, February 2, 2009, 2:14 PM

A long day

During a long day,
it's hard to hope for the best
During a long day,
one wants a sympathetic ear

When it's a long day,
one wants peace and to rest
When it's a long day,
one wants a loved one near

During a long day,
one screams inside and out
During a long day,
one wants another to understand what it's been about

After a long day,
I only can provide a warm embrace
After a long day,
I can listen face to face
After a long day,
I can understand
I can be your man

Date: Wednesday, February 11, 2009, 2:03 PM

Drift

Drift
Do you get it? Can you understand?
Another obtuse observation?
D rift
Float along aimless. Random directional doings.
An empty void?
D r if t
Do rants inkleout free time?
Don't read intellectually, face truth
D r i f t

Going Forward

Stagnant grey skies loom above

turmoil internal ruffles the dove

On the edge of the silent forest
ever near the breaking crest

Calm and cool like a celebratory crowd

soul and spirit now forcefully bowed

Past, present, and prophecy state

Looking forward, patiently await

Here I am. Here I stay.

Here 'til my dying day.